(via walangutak)

Rebels Without Causes: Tumblr Magazine PH’s Bloggers Who Matter - Part 5

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Photos are from the bloggers themselves; credits to their photographers *winks*

Tumblr Magazine PH is, really, just a small conch in a vast body of water. But a conch, no matter how small or big it could be, still can make noise. And together with you, our dear readers, we create a united diaspora of voices sharing one thing we love - expressing ourselves.

We cannot thank you enough for the support you’ve been showing towards this blogazine. You guys are the reason why we keep on pursuing this blog and from month to month, bring you something new and fresh out of the box. Hats off to you!

This annual list of exceptional bloggers was indeed fun and interesting, not just to you, but also to Dexter and I, as we also discovered amazing people making their own mark on the blogging world.

Now that we are at the last part of this feature, please let us express our gratitude to all the bloggers who became part of this feature. Indeed, you deserve all the love and admiration in the world.

Until next year for another set of bloggers who matter. Cheers!

Support this feature and tell us what you want to see next on Tumblr Magazine PH. Our hash tag: #TMPHRebels

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Ailah Gesta Solis
24, Wedding Photographer
http://helloaia.tumblr.com/

Aia: “I have so many things I dislike about humanity, but I am at the point of my life where I want to appreciate and love all each and everyone’s differences. No one is simply “just bad”, or simply “just good”. We are diverse. We are complex. There will always be two sides in our being. And I find that beautiful.”

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Jerome David Tan
24, Estudyante
http://panaghoy.tumblr.com/

JD: “Ito yung dahilan kung bakit nakakatakot ang mundo / Magkamali ka lang ng isa, tatalikod na ang lahat sa iyo / Ito yung dahilan kung bakit hindi ka dapat lubusang magtiwala / Kapag wala na sa’yong pakinabang, iiwan ka na lamang bigla / Hindi mo pwedeng sisihin ang iba kung biguin ka nila / Matagal nang ganyan ang takbo ng mundo, dapat ay alam mo na / Lahat tayo ay mayroong kanya-kanyang hinaharap na laban / Hindi ka pwedeng umasa sa iba na mayroon sila sa’yong pakialam.”

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Ma. Patricia Nabong
21, Film Student / Freelance Photographer
http://dorkoinvasion.tumblr.com/

Pat: “Everyone can do something for society in their own little way, through what they do. And I guess in my case, photography isn’t just a way of seeing, but a way of showing, in the hope of raising awareness and understanding. I’ve always wanted to document remote cultures and lives of different people. However, as much as I want to take off and disappear in Peru or India, I still have to finish my degree, so I’ve been training my eye through street photography, roaming around cities and documenting everyday life. It’s a way of showing people what I see and what passes us by everyday. It’s a way of saying that these people exist, this is their reality, this is life.”

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Grace Ann de Luna
20, Student (for a little more while)
http://gracedeluna.tumblr.com/

Grace: “My least favorite thing about humanity is insensitivity. Most people are really insensitive to a whole lot of things. I, myself, have had some fair shares of being insensitive with some subjects. And it’s just a sad, sad thing whenever we become very insensitive to the things happening. We were all given the power to think for ourselves and have our own opinions, and yes, we have so much different opinions. But that doesn’t mean we have to be enclosed in that opinion alone. We all tend to do that a lot. Once you throw out what you think in the open, be ready enough to respect what others think as well.”

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Justin Dale Julio Panaligan
20, Junior Accountant / According to his blog, a wallflower
http://juliopanaligan.tumblr.com/

Julio: “I’m claiming that I’m blessed – blessed with many talents. Yes, we can sing, dance, draw, take good pictures, wear clothes like a model, etc. but talent is not just about these things. Talent for me is how you influence other people, how you motivate them, how you inspire other people (through words or actions), how you change lives in different ways. Talent isn’t just the special things that we see in other people, it’s about the feelings that we get when we see that special thing on them. It’s the appreciation from that person no matter how talented that person is or not. It’s all about how you maximize your talents, your capabilities and what you’ve learned from the things around you. You just have to find out how to use these things in the right time and in the right place.”

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Kyle Jumayne Francisco
20, Psychology Student / Fashion Stylist
http://talkingtongue.tumblr.com/

Kyl:In (20) years, I am already an accomplished fashion designer. I have my own brand and my own line. I have already done numerous shows and showed collections which were applauded by fashion enthusiasts, not just in the Philippines but around the globe. I’m living my life comfortably as I breathe fashion. It may sound a little ambitious, but I’m aiming for big stuff in the future which I am confident that I can do.”

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Mark Nicole Anicas
17, Marketing Management Student / An Exclusive Social Media Strategist of PR Asia Worldwide
http://markanicas.tumblr.com/

Mark:Twenty years from now, I’d probably be a marketing consultant, managing a PR company that focuses on digital advertising. I am also seeing myself in that time as one of the owners of the most successful business venture around the heritage city of Vigan. I love to share my thoughts and some time, I venture into the field of technical photography. I’d really love to master the art of life. I also find myself most of the time just tweeting and tweeting… and tweeting.”

Rebels Without Causes x Part 1
Rebels Without Causes x Part 2
Rebels Without Causes x Part 3
Rebels Without Causes x Part 4

Credits to Josh Tolentino for my photo, and —

Thank you so much Tumblr Magazine PH! I have never expected being part of something like this. Cheers!

I was here.

I watched him as he packed his things. I had no idea about this. I never saw this coming. Us, parting ways, was never one of our plans. I should have expected this right from the very beginning.

"You’re leaving" I said.

"I’m leaving," he affirmed, "but not without you."

"Eh, diyan na lang para kunyari busy street"
"Doon na lang kasi sa may pintuan para kunyari vintage," he pouted as he got so shy with the perfection of the eyes staring into the small peephole of his North Star’s film camera. 

It feels good, right? To know that someone would be willing to stay, no matter what you put them through. That someone would still wait, no matter how long the waiting has to be. Or that someone would still remain the same despite all the pain, or love you just the same, even though that love goes unrequited or unappreciated. 


But wouldn’t that be unfair? To expect someone to stay forever, to wait for you forever, though you know you don’t have any intentions of coming back? Isn’t it unfair, to treat someone like shit, hurt him, ignore him, and disregard him, and still expect that person to stay the same, to love you just the same? 

(via dyermond)

Fragmented

I.

Si Helena,
likha ng pag-iisip,

at imahinasyon.

Na parang buhangin na paubos, tinatangay
ng hangin.

Unti-unting nawawala,
naglalaho bawat segundo.

At si Julio,

naglalakad sa kawalan, hindi alam kung saan tutungo.

II.

Nilalabanan ng kanyang katawan ang naghahalong lamig ng takipsilim at init ng kanyang damdamin. Natanaw ni Julio ang lugar kung saan nabuo ang iniiwasang mga alaala. Umakyat siya sa bakal na harang sa gilid ng tulay, ipinikit ang mga mata, at niladlad ang mga kamay na wari’y mga pakpak na magpapadala sa hangin. Pinakiramdaman niya ang lamig ng hangin sa kanyang mukha, Hinayaan nitong tangayin ang kanyang kamalayan at ang pagsamo ng mga alaala na ‘di malilimutan.

Kailanman.

Ang pagsamo ng mga
alaala na
‘di na malilimutan kailanman.

III.

Noong bata pa lamang si Julio ay hilig na nito ang pag-upo sa isang kawayang tulay habang iwinawasiwas ang kanyang mga paa sa kailaliman. Hindi ito nakikipaglaro tulad ng ibang mga bata sa kanilang lugar. Kung hindi man kinukutya, ay iniiwasan ito dahil sa pag-aakalang nakakakita ng mga espiritung ligaw na haka-haka ng mga matatanda.

Sa tulay na ito ay nabuo ang isang pagkakaibigan na bumuo sa kanyang pagkatao.

Si Helena, isang imahinasyon.

Ang natatanging sandigan ni Julio sa mga panahong ‘di na alam ang matatakbuhan mula sa mga masasakit na nakikita sa kanilang tahanan. Kung hindi ito tatakas mula sa hampas at galos ng kanyang pagkabata, marahil ay pilay na ito— pilay na ang mentalidad sa buhay at reyalidad.

Lumaki si Julio na ang tanging takbuhan mula sa mga pasakit sa buhay ay ang tulay at si Helena. Minsa’y wala silang ibang gawain kundi ang tanawin ang mga bundok na napapalibutan ng luntiang mga puno, kasunod ang pagbato sa tubig ng ilog na umaagos sa ilalim ng mga kahoy na dinadala sila sa lawak ng itaas.

Nakatapak sa harang na kawayan si Helena at ginugulo ng hangin ang kanyang buhok. Sa tabi niya ay si Julio na nakataas ang isang kamay, habang ang isa’y hawak ang maputlang kamay ng pag-ibig. Tinatanaw ng dalawa ang bundok na maaabot lamang ng mga mata at ng kanilang pinag-isang diwa.

Tuwang-tuwa ang mag-irog sa pagtanaw ng mundo na kanilang kinagisnan. Mga bundok na sa araw lamang na iyon naaninag ang kagandahan, ang hampas ng tubig sa mga bato na dumadaloy sa kanilang ilalim, at ang napakalawak na kalangitan kung saan malayang nakakapaglakbay ang kanilang isipan.

Si Julio na nabubuhay sa kanyang sariling mundo.
At si Helena na mundo sa mundo ni Julio.

IV.

Ginising ng maingay na paghampas ng kahoy ang kanyang diwa mula sa pagkakahimbing. Ingay na gumulo sa kanyang isipan, ingay na nagtulak na bumangon at ilapag ang mga paa sa malamig na sahig. Paghawi ng kurtina mula sa kanyang silid ay nakitang nakahandusay ang naghihinagpis na ina habang may hawak na kahoy ang amang lunod sa alak. Alam na ni Julio ang kanyang gagawin, dahil sa araw-araw ng kanyang paghinga ay memoryado na nito ang bawat hakbang ng kanyang mga paa at ang pagsigaw ng ina, “Lumabas ka muna, anak”.

Dali-dali itong tumakbo palabas ng silid habang tinatakpan ang mga tainga at nagtungo sa kanyang kanlungan. Ngunit hindi na nito matanaw ang eksaktong tulay— wala na ang mga kawayang harang at binabaklas na ang ilang parte ng mga kalalakihan.

Hindi ito makalapit dahil sa harang ng mga nagtatrabaho.

Sa gitna ng ingay at gulo ng pagkawasak ng nagsilbing tahanan ng kaniyang payapang diwa ay si Helena na sumisigaw ng tulong. Hindi maintindihan ni Julio kung bakit ‘di makatakbo mula sa tulay si Helena papunta sa kanyang kinatatayuan. Walang ibang magawa si Julio kundi ang umiyak at mabalisa sa nakikitang paglisan ng kanyang minamahal habang ginigiba ang nagdurugtong sa kanilang mga puso at isipan.

V.

Napakabilis ng paglaho ng kanyang pangarap na mismong kanyang mga mata ang nakakasaksi. Mas mabilis pa sa pagtakbo at paglipas ng mga

segundo,

   minuto,

      at oras

na hindi niya maibabalik kailanman. Kahit anong pilit ng mga kamay ni Julio na abutin at habulin ang naglalahong iniibig ay ‘di ito magawa.

Ang tanging kinakayang gawin ni Julio ay ang makita ang paglaho ni Helena habang umiiyak at nagsusumigaw ang hinagpis sa kanyang puso.

Alam niyang hindi na ito muling makikita.

Alam niyang maiiwan na lamang ang kanilang

mga alaala

—   na magiging multo ng

   nakaraan

  — na ‘di na mababalikan.

VI.

“Ito na ang kinakatakot ko,
            mawawala ka na sa akin,
            mawawala na ang likha ng isip ko na tayo,
            mawawala na ang sarap sa pakiramdam,
                                                   mga pangarap,
                                                   mga gusto nating mangyari.

Itong mga ‘to na alam kong ako lang ang gumawa.

Kasama ng paglaho mo ay ang
paglaho ng mga alaala na ako lang din ang may likha.

Mga kasinungalingan na akala ko’y totoo,

ngunit sa huli, ay mga kasinungalingan na hinayaan kong buhayin ako araw-araw.
Mga kasinungalingan na nakapagpaginhawa sa akin sa mga panahong damdamin ko’y nangungulila.
Mga kasinungalingan na pumukaw sa puso ko na tumibok at bumuo ng tulad mo

na gigising lang din pala sa akin sa katotohanang
ikaw ay aking likha

lamang.”

VII.

Oras, araw at taon na ang lumipas, tulala pa rin si Julio at nakatingin sa malayo sa labas ng kanilang bintana. Hindi ito magalaw o makausap ng sino man. Ngunit sa araw na ito, mula sa kanyang kinauupuan, naaninag ni Julio ang taong matagal nang gustong hagkan.

Iniihip at binulong ng hangin ang pangalan ng babae sa kanyang mga tainga. Kinuha niya ang kanyang salamin at isinuot upang makita pang mabuti. Ikinurap pang minsan ni Julio ang talukap ng mga mata. Ngunit tulad ng noon, ay naglahong muli ang babae sa isang iglap, na tinangay ng agos ng panahon at pagsisisi.

Kinain na ng lungkot at pangungulila ang kabuuan ni Julio. Nagpasya itong lumisan mula sa kanyang kinauupuan na ilang oras nang naghihintay sa ‘di matukoy na kadahilanan.

Maraming katanungan ang pumasok sa kanyang isipan. Mga katanungan na sa tingin nya ay walang kasagutan, ngunit mga katanungan na siya lang pala ang kasagutan.

Ipinikit ni Julio ang kanyang mga mata at naisip na maglakad nang maglakad hanggang maidala ng kanyang mga paa sa kung saan man. Naaninag niya ang mga naipong kawayan na nakatapon sa isang banda na pilit itong hinahatak patungo sa kanila, at pilit ibinubulong ang mga alaala.

Sa tulay na ito ay nabuo at nawasak ang isang pagkakaibigan na sumira sa kanyang pagkatao. Tulay na nagdurugtong sa kanyang reyalidad at mga likhang konsepto.

VIII.

Si Helena,
ang pagmamahal na
                   naglaho

At si Julio,
di na muling mabubuo

Dear Patrick,

I do think it is for the best of us to part ways. I ain’t good enough, and I think I don’t function that well. It has been nice knowing you though.

We’ll meet each other one day and maybe, just maybe, ugh I don’t know.

Hey hey hey! It has been a long time since the last time I updated this with a legit post. What I’ve been up to? Well actually, a lot.

One is, for the last few months, something has been bothering the hell out of me and might make me insane if this persists. I won’t consider on sharing it to you guys though.

Right now, I’m in the mid of dealing with a fucked up life, and I must admit I wanna get out of here cuz everything’s not just right. Lol, this is starting to sound like a suicide note. Yes. I have been having ideations, but I have learned to manage them and not control me.

I just hope people people won’t get tired of me, especially friends who had been dealing with my roller coaster emotions for the past weeks or so. Shoutout to Jeff and Josh who’re with me through whatever, and in trying to help me deal with this life. The have been my sponges for all the negativity in my life and my tendencies to overthink things.

Btw, Frozen has been my companion with this challenge that I have been experiencing, so I do apologize if I talk to you and  start singing Do you want to build a snowman?